But… Who are you people?! Why won’t you comment?!

You make Bob weep. But it’s a manly sort of weep.

According to the website, Sharkwater is “a 40 proof blend of exotic tropical nectar’s, and premium vodka.” More history can be found here.

Although Bob is a crusty, salty, sometimes sweaty man of the sea, he is not a drinker. He just likes the bottles. So when he and his beautiful wife Melinda won a bottle of Sharkwater during trivia night at the local bar, Bob was excited! It was pretty!

Despite it’s outer beauty, however, Melinda (the drinker of the family – but always in moderation!) says it wasn’t the best. She describes it as “tasting blue.” In the same way we have come to know and accept the generic gummy flavor for “strawberry” candy (which does not taste like the real thing), Sharkwater apparently tastes like blue gummy candy. If that’s what you like your alcohol to taste like, then this is the vodka for you! If not, move along.

WHERE DO I GET IT?

How the hell would Bob know? Like I said, the man ain’t a drinker. Try checking where ever booze be sold.

IF YOU DON’T DRINK AND IT TASTES FUNNY, WHY BOTHER WITH THE POST, BOB? WTF?

WHY?! BECAUSE IT’S PRETTY! And shiny~ O.o

Bob and Melinda had a swell holiday. I may tell ye plainly, Bob did some extreme shoppin’. He wants to share what he bought. This will be the first installment of BOB‘S CHRISTMAS LIST. Enjoy.

1) The Sun Jar
Made by SUCK UK (http://www.suck.uk.com)
Find it at SUCK UK.com and ThinkGeek.com

This is the best solar-powered anything ever made. I mean, look at it.  It’s a  jar, and it glows in the dark. End of discussion. Inside is a light bulb and and solar panel. Just leave it out in direct sunlight for a few hours and it’ll glow away. Perfect for any base-souled land-lubber with a window sill, or for any black-hearted pirate what needs a night light. (Unfortunately, it doesn’t work in cloudy weather. Bob is quite distressed, because it’s been quite gray this week and it’s dark inside the ship…)

Click the thumbnail above for more technical info on how the Sun Jar works.

The Sun Jar comes in three colors: pink/purple, yellow, and blue. It’s battery is rechargeable by sunlight, but can be replaced with regular batteries when it wears out. Most of all, it’s fun.

1000 is quite a benchmark. And in so short a time! When did this happen, anyway??

Bob’s been adventuring and shopping and he certainly won’t stop now! Be ready for some Christmas presents soon!

Bob loves several of Chronicle Books journals. They’re so amazing he usually feels he’s unworthy to write in them! But you don’t have to…

1. Wanderlust Travel Journal
(By: Troy M. Litten)
LINK

Bob bought this one years ago, but it’s still on the market! And no wonder – this journal is a piece of art. Unlined, the pages are decorated with symbols you would find on airplanes, buses, and taxis. There are beautiful pictures and maps. It’s great for anyone who travels and wants to keep track of all the places they’ve been and sights they’ve seen. It also has a clear, plastic jacket to keep it extra safe.

Book stats:

5-3/4 x 8 in; 144 pp
Paperback
Published in March, 2004
ISBN 0811842061
ISBN13 9780811842068

Price: $16.95

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2. Native Flowers Journal
(By: Jill Bliss)
LINK

Another beautiful journal! Each page is lined like graph-paper and bordered by beautiful flower illustrations. Soft pastel colors and flower terminology makes it a wonderful blend of technical and natural.  If you don’t like something about this one, you may like Jill Bliss’ other journal also published by Chronicle: the Native Herbs journal. There’s also a Native Flowers address book.

Book Stats:

5 x 7-1/8 in; 224 pp
Paperback
Published in January, 2005
ISBN 0811846652
ISBN13 9780811846653

Price: $9.95

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3. Animals Around the World Journal
(By: Junzo Terada)
LINK

Talk about a fun journal! Featuring cute, stylized animals it’s just…ADORABLE. It has blank, lined, and graph-paper pages and bright colors everywhere. It’s also got an old-school, worn look to it. But mostly it’s just cute, cute, cute. There’s nothing more I can say. That’s the best part about it.

Book Stats:

5 x 7-1/8 in; 128 pp
Paperback
Published in January, 2008
ISBN 0811862380
ISBN13 9780811862387

Price: $9.95

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What is Moleskine?
(mol-a-skeen’-a)

MOLESKINE is the legendary notebook that has held the inspirations and ideas of everyone from Van Gogh, Picasso and Hemingway to famed author, Bruce Chatwin. Artists, authors, and geniuses of all variety have long appreciated the simplicity and superior functionality of these notebooks.

- http://www.moleskines.com/

Bob’s favorite is the Sketchbook, but Moleskine is big on variety. If you need a notebook, they have it.

There are Limited Edition Moleskine’s (like their Woodstock collection); 18-month and 12-month Planners; Pocket and “Large” Sketch Notebooks; Folio Books; Red Notebooks; Reporter Notebooks; Watercolor Notebooks; Soft Cover Notebooks; Cahier Notebooks; Volant Notebooks; and the super cute City Notebooks. They’re fun, durable, and even a little sexy.

Prices range from $5 to $20, depending on which design/size you want.

Well, what are you waiting for? Go out and get a journal! Start your story! Or do you have a better journal? If so, let Bob know~!

This is why you’re fat
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Is it social commentary, or just an excuse for people to think up new, sick ways to deep-fry food? We may never know. But now they have a book!!

Robot a Day
http://robotaday.com/

“Robot a day” is now “robot a couple of times a week”, (due to a new, secret project?) but it’s still the same cuteness. With over 280 robots – and counting – the creator is amassing a robot army to take over the world. Educate yourself. Be perpared.

Cracked.com
http://www.cracked.com/

Ah, yes. Can you really describe a website that posts almost daily articles with such titles as “6 Movie Plots Made Possible by Bafflingly Bad Decisions” or “Hollywood’s 6 Favorite Offensive Stereotypes“? Not really. There will always be those people that get offended at such comedy. Don’t be that person – Bob doesn’t much care for that person. Just enjoy it.

America’s Next Top Model – Cracked.com style

It’s GoGo’s Crazy Bones, a weird series of little collectible figurines you can play the game crazy bones with.

“ARRG! May every curse ever cursed light on and blast ye, Bob!” ye may be saying, for ye may not know what “crazy bones” is or how to play it. Well, ye cur, give the man a chance to explain before ye start cursing him, else he chain ye to the keel for yer sass!

Here are the rules for the different games:

• Traditional game: Player tosses a Crazy Bone into the air. Points are scored depending on which side it lands on, with less likely sides (for example, landing straight up, or upside down) receiving more points. Standing up=5, on it’s side=2 face up=1 face down=0
• Battle: Two players arrange their Crazy Bones in parallel rows a distance apart. Players take turns trying to knock their opponent’s Crazy Bones out of the row. This is often the most popular game for school crazes as it can be played quickly and easily without much need to set up and without such a high chance of Crazy Bones being stolen.
• The Bomber: Players take turns throwing a single Crazy Bone into a circle containing all player’s Crazy Bones, attempting to remove them from the circle.
• Airborne: Throw your bone as high as you can being able to still catch it.Then pick up as many crazy bones as possible. (Like jacks)
• Basket: Players try to get their Crazy Bones into a shoebox by bouncing it against the floor and into the box.
• On the line: Flip a coin to decide who goes first. The person who goes first rolls, not throws, a Crazy Bone towards a drawn line. The person with the Crazy Bone closest to the line wins.

Bob isn’t much for fads, and for all he knows this one might already be over. But he likes collecting weird things. He can’t help it. He’s a pirate.

WHERE DO I GET IT?

Well, Bob stumbled across them in the collectible cards section at Target. A pack of three figures and three stickers only costs $1. You may not know what you’re getting, but that’s the fun of it, right? Whether you collect them ‘cuz they’re weird or ‘cuz you wanna play the game doesn’t matter. They’re pretty fun either way. When you’re stuck on a long voyage, sometimes you just want to sit on the deck with yer mates, play a game or two of crazy bones, and take yer mind off yer troubles.

WHAT IS IT?

You may be saying to ye self: “Arrrg, Bob, what be a ‘rifftrax’?”  Well, my dearest, scurviest dog, RiffTrax are hilarious DVD commentaries done by the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K to those in the know).  You listen to a RiffTrax in sync with your movie.  As they say on their website, it’s like watching a movie with your funniest friends.  Since Bob only has one friend, and that friend is un-funny firstmate Arnav, it’s important to both of them to have that bunch-of-funny-guys-watching-stupid-movies experience.  And RiffTrax provides that for them.

Thank you, Rifftrax. Thank you.

There are 70+ movies that have been Riffed.  Most of them are even movies you’ve heard of!  Some of Bob’s favorites include Eragon, Twilight, and X-men.  The newly released Dragon Wars: D-War (link) will hopefully be just as awesome!!

WHERE DO I GET IT?

From their website, of course!  You can search through their selection of movie commentaries or just see what’s new!  Now, here’s the thing: What you’re buying for $3.99 isn’t the movie itself. What you are buying is the commentary audio file!  You have to go buy/rent the movie itself.  (Bob would be disgraced with you if you illegally downloaded the movie). In the description they tell you which version of the movie they’re using.  You can sync the video/audio yourself (they’ll help you) or you can use their new RiffTrax Player.  There are some Riffs that are the video and commentary, and these you can usually get for $0.99 (Bob recommends Shake Hands with Danger).  They’re not full length movies but they’re still awesome.  The prices are good and the Riffs are golden.  Try one out and see for yourself.

WHAT IS IT?

By now you know all about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  And if so, hopefully you know that the next installment, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, is also out!  If not, fire and thunder! What is wrong with you?!   Perish and plague me, but have ye been livin’ beneath a rock?

This is completely relevant to Bob’s interests.  After all, what pirate isn’t interested in the lore of sea monsters?  And what pirate doesn’t secretly want an excuse to read Jane Austin?  Perfect~!

So far, SSSM is an even better, and more satisfying, read than PPZ.  With more mayhem mixed in by new co-author Ben Winters, there won’t be pages and pages of the original Austen plot left un-sea monster-y.  Plus, the illustrations by Eugene Smith are breathtakingly epic.

WHERE DO I GET IT?

From any bookstore, of course! Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Borders… even WalMart had it (but don’t shop at WalMart, they treat pirates like dirt).  Price runs about $12.95, and it’s worth it.  You need to educate yourself about the horrid Alternation of the sea that changed English life forever…

ALREADY READ IT?

Then give Bob a piece o’ your mind! But don’t ruin the ending for him!

Bob just got a comment on his blog!! He is beyond happy! Thank you thank you~!

See it here: the comment.

Now Bob has 3 comments on his blog: The first, a comment from his wife on a early post (she denies it), a ping-back where Bob linked one post to another (not sure why WordPress counts that one…), and now his first real comment!! <3

Happy day!